


Tell Me It's Okay

by ConnorsWritingSux



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Anxiety Attacks, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders is a Sweetheart, Arguing, Caring Logic | Logan Sanders, Crying, Established Relationship, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, I Will Go Down With This Ship, Insecure Logic | Logan Sanders, Light Angst, M/M, Relationship Discussions, Relationship Issues, Romantic Fluff, Romantic Gestures, gay space nerds
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-03
Updated: 2019-01-03
Packaged: 2019-10-03 09:30:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,737
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17281496
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ConnorsWritingSux/pseuds/ConnorsWritingSux
Summary: Logan and Virgil's relationship is strong and loving, but there are things that need to be worked out. The first step to every relationship is open communication and, well, these two have a lot to talk about.





	Tell Me It's Okay

**Author's Note:**

> Things'll be okay.
> 
> The idea for this fic stems from Gnash's "Tell Me It's Okay," a song I love and listened to on repeat during the entire time I wrote this. I hope you enjoy.

Logan and Virgil are arguing again. Neither of them can remember what started it, but they both know something is broken in this. In them.

All they know for sure is that Virgil is crying more than he’s speaking, and Logan has tears of his own streaming down his cheeks. His fists are clenched at his sides and he knows he should shut his mouth, but he can’t. He knows the anger he feels is irrational, but most things he’s been doing and feeling lately have been irrational as well. He just knows that he wants everything to be okay. He wants them to be okay.

Virgil is crying while he and his boyfriend of three years enter another screaming match. It’s about something ridiculous. Something that doesn’t even matter at the end of the day, but they’re both so fired up that he’s unsure of what’ll become of them when it’s over. He’s unsure and he’s deathly afraid of the outcome. He just wants to be okay. He needs them to be okay.

_Tell me it’s okay_

The argument ends with an anxiety attack on Virgil’s end and an hour and a half of comforting on Logan’s part. Both of them feel like shit for their part in the argument, but neither of them is willing to admit he was in the wrong. They end up on the couch, wrapped in one another’s arms as they watch Cosmos on Netflix. They go to bed hurt and exhausted that night, tense I love yous said to the other as they laid down to rest.

They go to bed together, and Virgil wakes up alone. He wants to sob. He wants to break every damn thing in their apartment. He wants… He wants Logan. He wants Logan’s kindness back. He wants to be loved, to feel loved again. He wants it so desperately, but he knows that what he wants is such a far away dream. He knows that he’ll never get what he wants. That’s the way his life has worked for the past 27 years, and it’ll never change. That much he knows for sure.

After those thoughts sink in, he can’t stop the tears from falling.

_Tell me it’s okay_

Logan falls asleep next to Virgil that night and wakes up next to him the next morning, the sun peeking through a crack in their light-dampening curtains. He watches his significant other sleep for a few minutes, wanting nothing more than to pull the other man in his arms and hold him until the inevitable death of their universe, but he doesn’t. Instead of doing what he wants so desperately, he settles for a light kiss on Virgil’s forehead before getting out of bed and getting ready for work.

He’s downstairs, watching their coffee maker drip the hot, caffeinated bean juice into the coffee pot. It’s not the most fascinating thing, but it distracts him from his thoughts. It keeps him from thinking about Virgil too much and how badly he wants things to be fixed, to be better. He ignores the thoughts of cutting his losses and disappearing from Virgil’s life completely, the thoughts that Virgil would be better off without him. He ignores them even though he knows they’re correct. That he is no good for the man he loves. He pours half of the hot coffee into a mug for himself, leaving the other half in the pot but taking down Virgil’s mug and setting it on the counter for when the man wakes up.

He leaves for work, driving to the high school with little difficulty and starts on the lesson plan for the day. Willing away the few tears that threaten to fall onto a particularly moving essay about _The Crucible_ , he tries to push thoughts of his boyfriend out of his mind. Hoping that ignoring the pain will help it to go away.

It doesn’t.

_Tell me it’s okay_

Virgil doesn’t go into work that day, calling in sick instead, thanking God for his kind boss and friend, Patton, for letting him stay home. He leaves their room to go make some coffee before realizing that Logan made some before he left for work. The thoughtful gesture fills him with hope for them and he pours the still warm drink into his Roswell mug, sipping it contently. His mind is racing with thoughts of what he can do to make Logan feel important and loved, something similar to the coffee but a bit more obvious for his oblivious boyfriend.  

He spends the entire day cleaning their tiny apartment, being very careful so as to avoid messing up any of Logan’s carefully organized things. It would suck if he tried to do something nice for the man, only to stress him out further. He heads out of the apartment after he finishes cleaning, making his way to the shopping district to window-shop. Then, he sees it.

The constellation lamp is priced at twenty dollars and he’s in and out of the little nerdy store within five minutes, grinning to himself about the gift. He clutches it tightly to his chest as he heads back to their home, only stopping to pick up ingredients to make Thai yellow curry for dinner, Logan’s favorite. He considers that he may be doing too much, but shrugs that thought off. Making dinner and buying Logan a small gift was far from extravagant, so Virgil doesn’t focus on it too long.

Then again, that’s never stopped his anxiety before.

_Tell me it’s okay_

When Logan comes home from work, he wants nothing more than to crawl into bed and sleep for thirty years. His students were amazing today, yes, but his mind and heart just weren’t focused enough to make the day enjoyable. He sighs as he shrugs off his coat and hangs it on the coat rack before the scent of something delicious reaches his nose. The tired man follows the scent into the kitchen, leaning against the doorframe as he watches Virgil work.

His boyfriend is beautiful. He knows it for a fact and has known it since they first met. Yet, Virgil is more beautiful each and every time he sees him again. He’s grateful to have this man in his life, and he frowns as he comes to terms with what he needs to do. Ever so softly, he calls out, hoping his voice doesn’t startle the other man. “Virgil?”

The other man whirls around to face him, and his heart soars at the little smile on the purple-haired man’s face. “Logan, you’re home! I made your favorite!”

“I smelled it at the door, lovely. Thank you.” His thanks are earnest and he opens his arms for a hug he feels like they both need. “Oof!” The force of Virgil slamming into his chest nearly knocks him to the floor, but he steadies himself and buries his nose into his lover’s hair. He notes hints of patchouli and ginger, scents he’s come to associate entirely with his boyfriend. He takes in a deep whiff of it, sighing in contentment as they stand there.

He remembers what he’d come in there to do, and calmed himself before starting. “Virgil, I-,” he’s cut off by Virgil saying something as well, but his words are muffled so he pulls away so that he can hear him more clearly. “What’d you say?”

Virgil looks him in the eyes and speaks. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry about last night and the argument.”

He could laugh at this coincidence but holds it in, knowing it would only embarrass and hurt his boyfriend. “I’m sorry as well, Virgil. I should have never raised my voice to you. No matter what the argument was about, you’re more important to me. Okay?”

_Tell me it’s okay_

He feels embarrassed about the way his boyfriend is looking at him like he holds the world in his hands, but pushes that away. Virgil gives a verbal affirmation and heads back over to the curry to ensure it doesn’t burn, leaving Logan standing there and feeling a little more than lost. Instead of standing there like a fool, he grabs what he needs to set the table and busies himself with that until the food is done.

They ate their food in relative silence, something that’s not too abnormal with them as they both found that talking whilst sharing a meal often resulted in cold food and barely eating. So, they only say a few words, Logan to compliment Virgil’s cooking, and Virgil to thank his boyfriend. After the meal, they wash the dishes together, then putting the leftovers into containers to be taken to work or given to friends. They then head into their room and cuddle in the bed to watch more Cosmos.

That’s when Virgil remembers the gift he’d bought earlier that day for Logan and scrambles out of the bed and into the bathroom where he’d hidden it beneath the sink. He walks back into their room, chuckling at Logan’s confused expression before crawling back into their bed and putting the plastic bag in his lap. Kissing his cheek, Virgil smiles at him and gestures to the bag. “Go ahead and open it, Lo.”

_To be happy now_

Logan opens the bags and pulls out the box with a gasp. “Virgil! This… This is so…” He leans over to their bedside table and sets the box down before giving his boyfriend an excited hug. He blushes at the way the other man laughs but can’t bring himself to feel too embarrassed with himself. “Thank you so much. I love it.” He whispers into Virgil’s ear before pulling away and giving him a sweet kiss.

When they pull away from one another, he knows there’s a silly smile on his face, one that’s matched by Virgil’s own grin. “I’m so lucky I have you. So, so lucky.”

_Tell me it’s okay_

Virgil presses his forehead to Logan’s and closes his eyes, savoring the closeness. “I feel the same about you Lo. No matter what happens, we’ll be okay.”

They fall asleep together that night and, the next morning, Virgil wakes up next to Logan for the first time in months. They spend the day together, relishing each other’s company and talking about important things, no longer running away from their problems like before, but facing them.

Together.

_Because I’m happy now..._

 

**Author's Note:**

> See? I told you it would be okay.


End file.
